There's Nothing Wrong With Being Selfish
by JazzyFingers
Summary: Sasuke is back in the village. While his teammates are glad to have him back, the villagers are opposed. Forced into his stoic ways, Sasuke relys on a past outlet to relinquish his pain. Warning: CUTTING AND SUICIDAL THEMES SasuSaku *NEW CHAPTERS*
1. Prologue

Okay, I'm going to need the support of at least three to one hundred people to continue this story. Feel free to read and review. Flames, in my opinion, are unnecessary but welcome.

This is a story that takes place four years after Sasuke leaves. Soooo… everyone is seventeenish. Yay.

Disclaimer: A not-for-profit result of teenage angst.

Prologue

Normally, he didn't care what they thought of him. As he made a cut on his forearm, he contemplated the day's events; if they had played out in any other way, would he have barricaded himself in his own bathroom the moment he walked in the door? If he had just stayed where people could gossip and curse his name but he would never hear any of it, would he be lying on the floor at this very moment, brow furrowed?

Maybe not. But that didn't change the fact that he was.

Sasuke cursed as the cheap razor curved on his left forearm, bleeding thicker in some places. He quickly reached for a wash rag and pressed down to stop the blood. The smell made him sick; he thought of the Hokage. Didn't the dobe say she was afraid of blood? What irony for a top-notch medic. Is it irony that a ninja be sick to his stomach every time he inflicted the lacerations upon himself but not on others? Or did it just prove the fact that he was just human?

That didn't matter though. The others in the village, they didn't consider him human. Monster, they whispered. Some didn't even bother lowering their voices.

Did they not realize that he was suffering without their torment? Probably not. The only time the Uchiha bothered show any emotion was… well, it certainly wasn't while he was surrounded by the countless imbeciles. Actually, it wasn't really when he was around others that he knew either. But how exactly did he deserve this? Did his decision – yes, his decision – did it affect anyone but those that he didn't know personally? He tried to think. The smell of copper entered his nostrils causing him to shiver. The rag was stained brightly from the one cut but it seemed to have stopped the bleeding. Slowly, Sasuke stood up; wincing slightly as he used his left arm to steady himself.

He reached for bandages in the medicine cabinet and rinsed out the rag until the pink was clear once more. Blinking back sleep, he cleaned the cut, bandaged it properly, and looked on the bathroom floor for any evidence. To his disgust, a small smirk decided to grace his features. Was he that unhinged? No wonder nobody wanted him around.

Sure, Naruto was happy enough; he had his brother back. He knew things about his family. Pleasant things. He was told by the Hokage herself that when she decided to finally retire, that he was her successor. Naruto had even teased Kakashi about it. Apparently he was supposed to have taken over if anything had happened. But no skin off of his back, Sasuke thought quietly.

Kakashi was nice to Sasuke after a few weeks of his return. The awkwardness hadn't really vanished – Sasuke was still Sasuke but that didn't mean he was immediately forgiven. Words like selfish and revenge-driven (and although he secretly agreed with the other variations along with these, they still stung) were tossed around more than once. Sasuke turned the doorknob hesitantly before shutting off the lights and making his way through the empty house.

Dust coated every inch of the house and with a pang he noticed some items either missing or broken. A few shattered windows, graffiti splayed on his walls, scorch marks where someone had most likely attempted to start a fire. The state of his childhood home, combined with the day's outcome and the already twisted mishaps that had occurred years before, blinded him with fury. His hands reached for a nearby lamp and Sasuke chucked it against the farthest wall, causing an explosion of glass and hate.

Unbeknownst to him, a pair of eyes watched from outside.

What do you think? I know the concept "Sasuke cutting" is very très cliché but… watcha gunna do? This is really short, but prologue people. Give me a reason to continue. Thanks. ^^


	2. Renegade's Return

Chapter One: Renegade's Return

_I can't sleep. _

The three words ran through his mind like a relentless mantra. _I can't stand it. This fucking house – _he thought._ I just wish they had burned it down while I was away. Sure, Itachi confessed everything but… _The words that shaped themselves at the tip of his tongue danced menacingly. It didn't change the fact that he had still committed the murders. Even with the orders, the hurt… it was still there. It would never leave.

Ghosts of tears filled his eyes and he punched his pillow in frustration. He had already mourned for his brother. Hell, he had mourned enough for his late family and possibly others that would follow. Was he a shinobi or a small child? With one last effort to sleep, he gave up any thoughts of bed rest. Annoyed with his body, he unconsciously scratched his left arm, only to have it sting upon his touch. The bandages were holding but there were signs of the cut breaking during the night. _Funny though, I didn't even notice._

Sasuke made his way to the bathroom, his feet shuffling through the dust. Last night's razor still sat on the edge of the sink, the light reflecting off it in a way that it seemed to wink at him. A sick feeling filled his stomach as he undid the bandage on his arm. Hand shaking, Sasuke reached out for the razor and slid against the bathroom wall.

Cradling his knees to his chest, the Uchiha thought of yesterday. He had been back in Konohagakure for officially one month. The moment that he had walked through the gates surrounding the village, everyone in the nearby streets were silenced.

No one moved, not even the two chuunin that were assigned to keep watch. Children tugged at their parents' clothes, none of them not so sure why Mom was glancing anxiously at Dad or why Dad was reaching for his weapon pouch. But Sasuke looked around, locking eyes with every individual distanced from him. Women blushed and preferred staring at their feet. The kids waved happily, shouting out and inviting the stranger. The men, at least the common men or those with no ninja background, rapidly changed their expressions from that of surprise and confusion to something more familiar.

Comprehension. Then anger. Finally, a look of pure hatred.

"It's that boy," someone whispered. Sasuke felt his knees give out from under him and with a hiss, his body collapsed on the dirt road. Many sniggered harshly and the little ones even joined in. Heat rose and blossomed across Sasuke's cheeks.

"Uchiha," another spit out after the laughter died down, while some advanced towards Sasuke. Being in the state he was, he had no energy left to fight back, let alone activate Sharingan. The two guards exchanged shrugged shoulders before stepping in.

"Alright, folks. That's enough."

The citizens all scowled but hesitated. Sasuke felt a foot prod his side and he lifted his head enough to see the emotionless eyes of a Konoha ninja. The guy locked eyes with him momentarily before turning to his comrade.

"Hey, Goji… what should we, uh, you know," he shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "What do you think we should do with him?" Goji rolled his eyes. "What do you think we should do with him, Matsui?" The ninja flushed. Meanwhile, Goji beckoned forward one of the less-threatening villagers – a boy not yet in his teens.

He disappeared from behind his station. The others eventually seemed to be losing interest and with one lasting look, began to withdraw from the scene. Goji's head popped out several minutes later, a scroll in hand.

He tied the scroll and handed it to the boy. "Take this immediately to the Hokage." The boy nodded, eyes shifting anxiously, his hand reaching for the scroll. With a chuckle, Goji evaded the young man's eager attitude and kept a firm grip on the letter. Blushing, the boy gaped at the adult.

"Afterwards," Goji started, "head to the hospital and get a few medics to transport him. And," he leaned into the trembling youth as he accepted the note with a nod, "don't even think about looking at the message. If the scroll shifts even a little, every thing you ever regretted will seem trivial to what will happen."

The boy's eyes widened. The older smirked. "Now go."

Sasuke was only half aware of his surroundings. His chakra was fading fast and more than once did he feel himself slip out of consciousness. He tried several times to focus on something close to him but when he finally did, another bout of nausea would sweep through his body and black clouded his vision.

"Appeared out of nowhere –"

"Probably dead."

"-breathing? Is he even –"

A montage of voices grew closer but broken to Sasuke's ears, as did the sound of countless footfalls. The messenger was back and in his wake were a handful of Konoha's best, confused but able bodied, medics.

"What are you doing standing there?" Another voice – clear this time – resounded around the boy, each word echoing through his slipping sentient mind.

The scuttling of busy feet. The authoritative voice rang out again.

"Yui, Tamou – get over here with that gurney! Hanako, why are you just standing there? You've all done this a hundred times before! Renyu, do you have the prepared sedative? Stand by in case the victim becomes volatile. Damn it, Hanako, stop blubbering and get over here! You grab his legs and let's flip him on the count of three. One, two –"

Sasuke felt his stomach flop as he was tossed to his back grudgingly. He opened heavy lids, blinking slowly and taking in his surroundings. Above him, the voice continued to ramble orders.

"Hanako, do you have his feet? Good. Renyu, STAND BY. Yui, Tamou – you guys better get ready because it's about to get heavy on your end. Come on, transfer –" That was when the head medic decided to glance at her patient for the first time.

Wide green eyes sought out half lidded onyx. Sakura could feel her heartbeat accelerate considerably and Sasuke, summoning some of the last of his strength, held the gaze.

But whether it was the recent trauma or the fact he had travelled for over a week on little sleep and even less food to reach the village he so willingly turned his back on, Sasuke's eyes drooped and mind blanked as he slipped into oblivion.

Sakura watched as her former teammate lost consciousness, the intensity of his stare burning in her mind. Denial swept throughout her body. _No, no, no… he's not back._ She glanced down once more and her eyes caught his features. The sensation of electricity carried itself to her toes. _Back._

_Back. _

_BACK?!_

The young medics exchanged apprehensive glimpses with each other before they looked to their mentor in confusion. So many emotions appeared to be taking place on her face that it was difficult to keep up. Yui spoke up.

"Haruno-san, don't you think that we should continue the transfer? The patient should be transported to the hospital."

Snapping out of her stupor, Sakura regained her professional composure. "Sorry; you're right, Yui. Now, Hanako: on the count of three –"

There! Sorry that it's been a little over a week since the prologue. I'm kind of lazy if I don't have any inspiration; you know… inspiration for the plot, inspiration for the dialogue… but what I REALLY need is… inspiration from the fans… I mean, the two people that have read my story. Prove me wrong, peeps. R & R.


	3. A Blossom's Reaction

Okay, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a couple of weeks. But I'm also sad to say that this may be the latest update in a LONG time. *BACKSTORY!* See, I'm moving in with my uncle and that means that I won't be able to get on the computer for a while. But stay with me, okay? I promise that I will try my best to update just one last time before the ninth (the day that I'm leaving). Until then, I just want to thank those who have left me reviews: EmilyXXSasu, KrOnKeRs, just a girl, and yes, I suppose even Negative Venice. Thank you all once again. .

Chapter Two: A Blossom's Reaction

Sakura sat amidst a wobbly desk in her miniscule office. Paperwork peered down at from a ridiculous height. But although sunlight welcomed her and a soft breeze tickled her skin, it didn't stop the clouds already preparing to unleash wrath in her mind.

She was still. She was silent. To a passerby, she would seem like an incredible work of art; a mannequin that captured every dimension of the human body with a rich perfection.

And if said onlooker did not have a carefully trained eye, he or she would not notice the barely raising chest and instead tarry along, spreading the news among friends of a great anonymous revolutionary.

A single sigh escaped Sakura's lips. Gently, she closed her eyes. What to do, what to do, she contemplated. Her back was straight against the chair in which she was sitting and her dainty, yet frighteningly destructive, hands rested on her lap.

While her composure appeared calm, the mantra that ran through her head relented and was replaced with…him.

Uchiha Sasuke. Missing nin for four years. The lost member of Team Seven. The apprentice of the ever-elusive S-rank deserter, Orochimaru. Sakura's shoulders slumped. Just this very morning she had led a group of bumbling interns to the village gates on the mysterious order that she had received from a child. And it was several minutes after she arrived that she finally looked upon the injured party and found herself staring into the eyes of the man that turned his back on Konohagakure and left her lying on a park bench. Her hear began to skip lightly. Uchiha Sasuke.

Green eyes shot open and Sakura furrowed her brow. Before she could prevent it, a surge of hot anger ran its course through her, accompanied by clenched fists. Right now, the only thing she truly wanted to do was march her way up to his room, take a rusty scalpel to his manhood, and if she were in the mood, just maybe smother him with a pillow in order to put him out of his misery.

Without her consent, a small chuckle slipped through her raw vehemence. Dismayed, the girl twirled a long strand of hair and rested tired feet on the malfunctioning desk. But she was careful as to not disrupt the meticulous placing of papers just biding time for a sneak attack, only to surely lead to Sakura's untimely demise.

It was only when she was in her office that she did let her guard completely down. As she tried to allow her mind to slip away to happier times in a better place, feet inching towards the bothersome busy work, a hyperactive ball of yellow fun burst through the door, toppling paperwork and setting off a spark in the girl.

"Narutooo!"

An array of memos, old patient charts, notes, and sections of medical journals – fastidiously copied word-for-word and laminated as to hopefully ease the painful and tedious work of diagnosing – rained down around Sakura. Her desk lay in splinters at her feet, along with an apologetic blonde.

"Sorrysorrysorrysorr-" He began, just barely scrambling away in time to evade Sakura's right hook. The blonde took several steps away from the angry woman, to insure that he was outside of the range of abuse that she had to offer.

"Naruto…" Sakura started crossly, popping her knuckles. With each finger, Naruto scooted closer and closer towards the door.

Noticing her friend's quite obvious discomfort – and yes, she did like to admit, terror – she ungraciously made her way to standing on both feet. Sweat was seen dripping from Naruto's face as his anxiety and sluggish race to flee both increased.

Sakura dusted herself off and plucked an imaginary thread from her clothes before smiling warmly at her distressed friend. "Come on, Naruto – I'm not mad." He narrowed his eyes at her and mumbled a variety of words, Sakura only catching what sounded like, "Some trick…thinks she'll get me…know better…"

Sighing inwardly out of frustration from the stubbornness of her teammate, she sit back down on the cluttered floor, as it appeared her chair had joined the list of the deceased and rested mournfully in a pile not unlike the desk.

"I guess this is just a sign." Sakura glanced around her, getting a full perspective of the damage. "I should have done my paperwork sooner, ne?" She winked and Naruto came closer.

"Do you… do you want any help?"

Eyebrow raised, Sakura bellowed, "why, that would be marvelous, young lad. Just sit yourself down; there you have it – the finest floor in all of Konoha!"

Naruto gaped at Sakura oddly before the two of them broke down into hysterics. Sakura blinked and saw herself and the blonde as twelve-years-old once more.

But when she blinked again, the boyish features became rugged, sharper. The laughter had subsided and a tension entered the room. Sakura adopted a more serious tone. "Come on, Naruto, cut the crap." He shot her a look of surprise. She grabbed a handful of the nearest papers and began organizing. Patient charts…study guides...notes. Meanwhile, Naruto fumbled with his shirt. Sakura rolled her eyes. "Why are you really here?"

Ha. As if I really need to ask.

The boy's voice dropped and dripped with sincerity.

"I heard that… Sasuke," he appeared to be swallowing a lump the size of his own fist as he uttered the Uchiha's name, "was admitted today."

Tears pricked the corners of Sakura's eyes and she blinked them back quickly. No way in hell was she crying, dammit.

Silence enveloped the two of them as they mulled the news over. Sakura, of course, had had nothing else on her mind all day, but her own persistence to avoid the subject had prohibited her to even give it an entire minute before pirouetting in a different direction altogether.

"Gross! What the hell is… narcolepsy?! That sounds disgusting!"

Sakura snapped her head around to see Naruto surrounded by patient charts. He held one in his hands but as soon as he read the diagnosis, he threw the papers from him with much haste. Sakura rolled her eyes high to the heavens for what seemed like the billionth time that afternoon.

"First of all-" she began snatching all of the charts and stacking them, while Naruto had the same look of repulsion on his face. "Stop reading the patient charts if you don't understand them or if you're not going to help." The boy's jaw dropped and he was quick to defend himself.

Unfortunately, Sakura didn't care.

"Second of all, narcolepsy is a sleeping disorder. It's not disgusting. It's not contagious. And you certainly won't catch it by touching the patient's chart."

Naruto flushed.

The pink-haired girl rubbed her temples. "And lastly, Naruto, I know you want to ask me something. So… out with it."

Glancing at Sakura, Naruto drew a breath. "Have you visited Sasuke yet?"

Just what I expected. Like a balloon that lost its air too soon, the strong form of Haruno Sakura deflated. She pursed her lips.

"No."

The blonde's response was volatile but not entirely unexpected.

"Were you ever planning on it?"

Sakura let out a humorless chuckle. "Of course – I am his doctor, after all."

Naruto crossed his arms and looked down at the girl with slightly narrowed eyes. "isn't it your job to-"

"don't lecture me about how to do my job, Uzumaki. Yeah, you heard me right. I'm not going to let a past with one of my patients cause that patient to be neglected. But-" she tested, as Naruto seemed to have some form of a comeback. "but… Sasuke's condition wasn't that bad that I need to check on his vitals every five minutes. I have a pager." She unclipped it from her pants and waved it around. "Not to mention, I have a few nurses who will get me if anything happens. So just… calm down."

She took a deep breath herself. Naruto relaxed, looking a little bit ashamed. Sakura took the plunge.

"have you seen him yet?"

He averted his eyes. She scowled. "Hypocrite."

A knock on the door resonated in her office. An intern that was at least seven years senior to Sakura widened his eyes to the current state of the room.

"Yes?" Sakura asked sweetly, as though daring the piss-ant to question her work area. The intern found that shock of oddly colored hair sitting next to what looked suspiciously like kindling. Sakura's right brow twitched and she crossed her arms impatiently.

"Yes?" Smile in check, teeth grinding. The man jumped visibly. Rumors of his resident's terror (not to mention temper) didn't even contest to being face-to-face with the woman.

Careful to not make her wait any longer, he relayed his message.

"Um…it appears that your patient in bed seven finally woke up."

Sakura threw her hands up. "Names, names – I can't just rely on memory. I need-"

The intern interrupted. "Uchiha Sasuke."


	4. The Traitor Awakens

Chapter Three: The Traitor Awakens

Sakura lowered her hands. "Oh," she breathed. There was a rustling of paper and clank of wood falling into each other as Naruto walked briskly past the stunned doctor, whose position on the floor was unchanged even as the intern looked upon her expectantly.

The boy glanced at said intern with an uncharacteristic look of disgust in his usually kind eyes. "You relayed your message – don't you think that you should get back to work?" Anger entered the man's thoughts as he was insulted by a mere boy. He narrowed his eyes and prepared a retort but he took one last look at Naruto's face – am I going crazy or did his irises just turn red? - and his mentor's vacant expression made him reconsider.

"You're right. I'll be returning to work now. Just call if you need me, Dr. Haruno."

With that, he exited the room, the blonde's demeanor taking up unnecessary space in his already cluttered mind. He cast all thought of the incident away and went back to work, stacking clipboards in his arms and memorizing vital information.

Meanwhile, Sakura remained unchanged. Godaime, along with relying to her the secret to brute strength, had also taught Sakura various stress reducing exercises. Her temper was still very much the same, if not worse in terms of collateral damage, but Sakura found that she was able to hold in much more before the proverbial pitcher of anger was knocked to the floor.

A minute dragged by. Naruto shuffled in a corner of the office, hands in his pockets but not daring to push his teammate. That reference made him smile. How long had it been since Team Kakashi disbanded? Their sensei had joined the Anbu Black Ops once more shortly after Sasuke's return. But it had truly been years since their last mission. Every one was growing; lives were being carried out. You can't remain the same always. Eventually, something will come along and mess up what you had going for you and whether it was good or not, it will probably never return to its original form. Sure, they would talk in those two years; Kakashi would talk about helping Kurenai prepare for her baby after Asuma's death, Sai briefly stated something about opening an art studio, and Sakura would chatter quietly about her role in the hospital while Naruto listened. But in the end, they all knew that their comrade's absence would soon cause them to all diverge in their paths.

And so they all went off, living their lives. Or at least trying their damned hardest to. Sasuke was still a dull throb throughout each of their bodies, a constant reminder of a failure they would never be able to fix.

Naturally, it was a complete shock when news blew through the village that the Uchiha had returned. Passersby would comment that when a whisper met the Jinchuuriki's ears, he was soon nothing more than a black and orange blur, heading for the hospital.

Of course, obscenities that ensued when his entry was denied would have to be censored for the minors.

Sakura's beeper rang out, the owner of such a demonic device falling back in surprise. She unclasped it from her scrubs and squinted at it for a few seconds before lowering it in defeat.

"Oh well; I kinda want to hang out here for a few minutes."

She stood up, brushing imaginary dirt from her backside. Running fingers through her silky pink locks, she threw Naruto a look she would only let him see: fear.

"I can't do this."

Five years. A lot can change in that amount of time. A tear slipped from Sakura's ducts, a petty tear. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. He's just another patient. There shouldn't be any hostility or, or... just get over yourself! She knew that once she entered his room, she would be simply reading him the rights that he has and sending him to Ibiki. It's ironic that a hospital would work to get someone well only to direct him to death.

Naruto offered her a smile. "The sooner you do this, the sooner you can get on with the rest of your day, right? You can't really hide in this office all day. People need you, _Doctor._" Sakura wiped away the tear as well as any thought of running away from this. She couldn't explain it. But telling someone that they have a clean bill of health and then having to watch that person die... That was one of the main reasons she decided to remain at the hospital and give up being a shinobi. She couldn't take the death.

Her shoes squeaked with just too much vigor in her step but she was used to faking for others. Sakura glanced at Naruto as she passed his bulk. "You coming?"

The boy let his chest sink visibly, ultimately attempting to conceal it as a yawn.

"Ya know, I seriously just got back. That was the only reason I came here, was to check on you. So...I'm just going to see if I can catch some sleep before I do something like this. Er, I mean, I just..." He rushed out of the room, excuse trailing behind him as well as his shadow on a sunny day.

Lucky. Sakura cursed softly under her breath and made her way down the endless corridors.

Sasuke awoke to the sound of his own heartbeat.

His muscles ached. The sun that sneaked past the unusually thick curtains warmed the blanket on his legs. He sat up, a peculiar tugging at various parts of his body. His mind was groggy, vision outlined in fuzzy details. Bruises were mottled along his arms as far as he could see. None were too bad, he smugly thought to himself. His eyes followed a line down to his hand, where a needle could be seen sticking through.

A hunger swept through him. He realized that he was ravenous. His escape didn't leave him much time to gather certain necessities. Well, not escape. He could have set the bomb at any time but conflicting emotions seemed to have blocked any thought of common sense to have taken root. So he didn't need to have set it so soon. But, a large part of him agreed to this concept, the more time spent... there, the more he was susceptible to losing his mind.

But it had taken a lot longer than Sasuke had originally planned. The journey back.

His imminent doom.

Because he doesn't expect to be received with smiles. A line of friends waiting for him? What friends? He thought bitterly, then instantly regretted it. They have nothing to do with this. It was his decision. One of the many rash thoughts that he put into action but stubbornly didn't want to except them as rash.

Just ill-formed. Spontaneous. That's a better word.

Honestly though, he commented to himself. I didn't expect a hospital room. A prison cell. Chakra lock. Reinforced steel walls. A bunch of guards. Maybe even Anbu to read him his rights. Interrogate him only to sentence him.

But a hospital?

The last thing the Uchiha truly remembered was arriving at the gates. A pair of bright green eyes. Then... nothing.

The heart monitor was monotonous and it was a peculiar feeling to have your pulse in your throat, your wrists and hear it in your ears and on the machinery. Looking to the side, Sasuke could see the monitor, an IV that led to the vein in his left hand.

Without any warning, the door slide open and a humming orderly stepped in. He glimpsed at Sasuke, eyes sliding over him. He continued to walk to the end of the Uchiha's bed, grabbing a chart. Then, stopping in what seemed to be mid-hum, the orderly's face fell and he stared at Sasuke.

"You're uh... you're awake."

Sasuke downcasted his onyx eyes, only then noticing the restraints wrapped around his ankles. Brow furrowed, his face hardened. The orderly followed his gaze, mumbling out a response.

"Well, that's just... I should probably..."

He left without saying anything else, slamming the door a little too loudly. The heart monitor continued at a steady pace and Sasuke could count each of the heartbeats that would lead to his death.

Inevitability.

A word that took up every crevice of his mind, scrawled over any chance of a change of thought. Pure terror burned his skin and the beeping seemed closer together. Sasuke fell back into the pillows, squeezing eyes shut.

A minute passed. Then another. And another. Soon the only sounds in the room were that of the machinery and a clock; the simultaneous action nearly cracked his resolve. The restraints felt peculiar on his skin and once his mind was cleared of drowsiness, the Uchiha took note that the ropes – for that is all they appeared to be – were not only holding down his ankles but were around his thin wrists and loosely placed around his waist with just barely enough room to maneuver. A quiet droning came from somewhere in the hospital but he couldn't seem to place it anywhere – perhaps a generator?

Sasuke gritted his teeth. When was anyone going to come? Was this the punishment before his cursed fate? To lie here, knowing that you are going to die for the actions you took? Was he meant to stew, to cast aside petty thoughts and seriously contemplate life? Nothing he had done was worth meditating more than once. And honestly, Sasuke Uchiha was nothing short of unsatisfied with the way that he had played out his life.

The sun no longer seeped through the curtains, signaling the end of another day. Something squeaked outside of his door. Probably just a little kid or something. The door slid slowly open, the orderly back from whatever seemed to have called him away.

Sakura Haruno stepped through the door, room seven. She hugged a clipboard to her chest; deciding it made her seem insecure, dropped it to her side. Averting her gaze would last only so long and statistics show that eye contact is one of the main qualities a doctor should have to ensure the patient -

"Good afternoon, Uchiha-san. I'm Sakura Haruno, your doctor."

Okay, this is the first update in a LOOOOOOONG time. And I'll be honest – I'm a very lazy person. But I have fourish more chapters along with this one so this is how it will go down with further updates:

0-2 reviews and I will update once a month

3-5 reviews and I will update twice a month

6-10 reviews and I will update once a week

11-100 (ahaha) and I will have your children


	5. The Trial Awaits

Chapter Four: The Trial Awaits

What the hell? Why did I introduce myself? Sakura inwardly kicked herself in the shin, the stupidity of that statement seeming to outweigh the seriousness of this situation.

Sasuke barely moved an inch, still reclined into the pillows. He definitely looked worse than the charts suggested. They were stamped PERFECT HEALTH while he lay there in bandages, cheeks sunken and skin sallow. His papers were, no doubt, reviewed by a member of Anbu or one of the elders and passed without further consideration. I'm sure this is something that they're just itching to dispose of.

A ball of something had lodged its way in her throat, preventing any sort of communication between the two of them. The sorrow of the past several years pressed down on the woman's shoulders; the day he left, the failed rescue attempts, the first time she had seen him since he left, at Orochimaru's lair. He had changed. Refused to return.

So why the fuck was he here?

The sound of Sasuke clearing his throat brought the Haruno back. He tried to speak but the strain added to the unuse caused difficulties.

"What...happens now?"

A chip in the ceiling caught Sakura's attention less than she let on but she couldn't find it in her to look at him while she spoke.

"Well... since you're responsive, I alerted the Hokage and Anbu. Once they get here, they may question you and take you to a holding cell or just take you to the Hokage's office and hold a trial later today." Sasuke licked his cracked lips. "So why... am I in the hospital?"

"Aside from being dehydrated and malnourished, you're pretty much okay. I don't know if you recall but once you reached the gates, you lost consciousness. Which was due to overexertion coupled with the aforementioned deficiencies. So you were brought here until it was clear that you could leave."

Nodding to both himself and Sakura, Sasuke motioned to the restraints. "I guess these are...?"

"Hospital protocol." Her tone was brisk, business-like. She was a sharp rock in a drawer of knives. "They double as restraints for normal patients and shinobi because they are chakra blocking without hurting civilians. I don't know if you noticed but a humming noise means that they are working."

Sasuke looked at the curtains, glowing red from the iridecent setting sun. Sakura sat down in the only chair in the room, fixated on her lap. For at least ten minutes they sat like this, doomed man and damned woman, patiently waiting for reality to knock.

And knock it did. For a third time in such a short amount of space, the door opened and revealed the busty village leader click-clacking through the doorway, sandwiched between two hulking masses of muscle. Shinobi rely more on agility than strength nine times out of ten so that meant that these men were from the interrogations unit.

Tsunade's eyes were ice as she spoke to the renegade.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

The two meatheads guffawed silently on the sidelines but were quieted immediately when caught in the Hokage's glare. Sakura stood up when her master stepped into the room, chart falling from her lap with a loud clatter. She blushed, her cheeks blending into her hair. Tsunade barely glanced her way, holding her hand out for the clipboard.

Sakura stuffed it into her hands and fell back into the chair. Tsunade leafed through the thin sheets, skimming the information even though all she needed was on the first page. The stamp of clean health. She sighed.

"You've returned."

Rhetorical. I wish she would just sentence me and be done with it. Sasuke grimaced and Tsunade smiled wryly.

"Considering it's getting so late, you'll stay at the hospital overnight. Your trial has already been set for eight tomorrow morning. Someone will be sent to retrieve you and in the mean time -" She unbuckled the restraints. The interrogation unit made highly audible sounds of protest but met only deaf ears. Tsunade stepped back after prodding Sasuke for a few minutes.

"There; the restraints are off so you can move around but I have altered chakra flow in your hands and feet so you are unable to perform any shinobi techniques. Of course you could always run," she said as an afterthought. "But that wouldn't be wise as there will be ninja stationed both inside the hospital at all the exits, outside of your window and your door. They will not hesitate to take you down. If you try to get away, you will have no trial and will be immediately put to death.

She then nodded to Sakura and exited, hair swaying and heels stabbing into the cheap linoleum.

Trial, trial. The way everyone is saying it, it's like they're giving me hope. But what if it's just, like the physical restraints, protocol? Would they have given Orochimaru a trial? What about Itachi? Both are accused of nothing short of genocide and affiliating with the illegal crime organization, Akatsuki. Were accused. The death of both my estranged brother and that snake bastard don't seem to be clicking yet.

It was past midnight and the following day loomed overhead like a bad thunderstorm. I should be nervous but I'm more contemplative. I wonder what went through my mind when I decided I was going to return? Did I really, _truly_, think I would be forgiven?


	6. The Trial

Chapter Five: The Trial

A heavyset man was sent to retrieve Sasuke. The man's eyes continually darted from Sasuke to the rope he had tied around the boy's wrists as an extra precaution. Nevermind that there was absolutely no chakra flow going to all the vital parts needed to perform any form of ninjutsu. He was sweating and muttering under his breath, tugging a little too tightly on the knot.

Sasuke gritted his teeth. This bastard. Why the hell did they have to send someone so incompetent as a shinobi? The guy sneezed, snot dripping from his hairy nostrils. Sasuke looked on in disgust. In one move, I could fucking destroy this guy.

Chakra restraints or no, Sasuke was not physically weak. Years of training by himself followed by his various training sessions supervised by Kakashi and in the latter years, Orochimaru and sometimes Kabuto, had left him with lean muscle that would take several years to lose. So no, there was no reason that the sniveling man, who looked as though he would rather hang out in the hospital cafeteria, shouldn't fear the Uchiha. But it annoyed him none the less.

The man, taking advantage of what he considered a moment of superiority, sneered at the boy slightly.

"Not so great now, are you, Uchiha? Each generation has their bad eggs but it wouldn't be fair unless you were the worse." He yanked on the rope. What the hell happened to the quiver in his voice? Ever since the two had left the hospital room and headed for the exit, the man had been cautious as to distance himself from the traitor and not tread on his feet. But as they stepped outside, his demeanor changed completely. He wiped his nasty face on a crusty sleeve and gave Sasuke a nudge.

"Get a goddamn move on now. I ain't got all day."

Sasuke tried keeping his face emotionless while resisting the urge to kick the shit out of this man. But there were ropes tied around his ankles as soon as they reached the public. Humiliation bloomed in Sasuke's stomach. He was forced to shuffle through the dirt streets and the shinobi smirked.

"Come on. Hurry your ass up." He gave Sasuke another push in the middle of his back, more forcibly this time. Sasuke stumbled but managed to catch himself. Still, he bit his tongue.

Surrounding the pair were the villagers of all kinds. Shopkeepers stood outside their establishments, arms crossed. Children were jerked from the path while parents jeered. None of the onlookers were too eager to watch they say around the children and soon everyone was joining in.

"Traitor!"

"You'll burn for this Uchiha!"

"Murderer!"

It was the same scene that Sasuke could grasp only the outlines to. Did they even know why they were angry with him? Or was it simply a matter of having ties to your village? When did he step through the gates of Konohagakure? Was that just twenty-four hours ago?

Meanwhile, the shinobi assigned to Sasuke was eating up the attention. He was grinning, lips pulled back to reveal yellowing teeth. His handling became rougher; the rope burned and the man was tugging relentlessly to speed up the advance towards the Hokage tower. Anger bubbled in the Uchiha's chest but there was little he could do.

The crowd all but grew. Sasuke had always known that Konohagakure was large and that news traveled faster that it would have if set free in a flooded river, but the sheer number of people that would abandon their responsibilities to mock the boy was enormous. Sasuke wondered if the ones they had passed had went on with their day or were still among the masses.

Craning his neck to look behind him, Sasuke felt the shinobi tug on the rope again. This time, there was no way to stop from falling. The boy fell, his right knee hitting the firm road and his hands flew out involuntarily to stop any further damage. However, with his hands that close together, it was like balancing a plate on a chopstick and he dropped to his side.

Laughter, spiteful and void of any empathy, erupted from every side. The once-sniveling man before was close to joining Sasuke, his hands slipping from his knees and his eyes pissing out tears. Face red, the man continued to laugh, spittle hitting Sasuke in the face as he bent down to whisper in his ear.

"Now get the fuck up."

Struggling to, at the very least, balance on his elbows, Sasuke was in an almost bowing position. His spine stiffened at that thought along with the man standing in front of him and he tried to block out the ridicule that seemed to have no end. A stray voice broke from the crowd just when Sasuke was able to stand up.

"Kick him back down!"

Agreement along with suggestions rang out from the villagers. Each one spewed was just as malicious as its predecessor. The man, still wiping at grimy tears from his beat red face, just snickered and raised his foot, slamming it in the middle of Sasuke's back.

The boy plopped back to the ground, hands biting into his chest. The jeers grew louder, the man a hero. Another foot was delivered swiftly to Sasuke's side and stars exploded in his eyes. Some children were laughing uncertainly, pulling at their elder's clothes. Sasuke took a deep breath, inhaling dirt. Others continued to jest as the Uchiha broke out into a coughing fit but the fun was wearing. The assemblage was thinning.

A mass of snot and spit landed just inches from Sasuke's face. Red filled the boy's vision. Glancing at a wristwatch, the guard glared down at Sasuke.

"Get a move on. We're late."

Limbs shaking slightly, Sasuke was able to stand, the shinobi grabbing Sasuke's shirt with dirty hands. Sasuke growled slightly under his breath, side splitting with pain. Dirt covered his clothes and was no doubt all over his face.

Who gives a shit? Why should I have to look presentable for a trial I already have known the outcome for?

Sasuke started shuffling once more. These last few minutes were Sasuke's last chance to contemplate. The man was silent, his eyes shifty as they had been when Sasuke was first handed over to the coward. His side aching, the boy winced at the distance from where he was to where he needed to be. How ironic that I'm anxious to reach the place just so I can sit down when it's purpose is to set my death.

He shook his head, chuckling darkly. The man sent a fearful look Sasuke's way, slacking his grip on the rope. Not so brave now, are you? Now that the crowd is gone, all you are is some trembling little man that I would give at least one more day to kill.

It wouldn't be that hard actually. The street they were on was nearly deserted. A quick look around confirmed this. Sasuke's lips lifted a fraction. His fingers twitched with longing. Oh, what a relief it would be just to drag the man into an alleyway and strangle him. The bubbling mass didn't stand a chance.

As angry as he was, Sasuke still felt sick at the thought. That he could control another life that easily but had had no luck trying to put his on a path that resulted in anyone's happiness.

Selfish. That's all he ever would be. This confession was supposed to lead to at least a feeling of ease but all he could feel was fear, bitterness for those around him, and raw hatred for who he was, is, and will never be.

"Uchiha Sasuke due to your actions: betrayal of your village of Konohagakure, attempted murder of a fellow Konoha shinobi, association with S-ranked criminal Orochimaru, and connection along with related activities with the Akatsuki, you are hereby sentenced to death."

I was prepared for this. His fingers shook and stomach was sore from the kick. The pain had dulled but his body was still worn out from his journey back to the village. Not to mention the most that he had in terms of nourishment was being hooked to the IV drip for the few hours he was unconscious.

The elders weren't paying attention to him, as though they sentenced people to death every day. Dying in battle was one thing. Having your village decide you are no longer needed you? Sasuke leaned forward. "Can I..." His throat was still raw. A pitcher of water sat on the small table but Sasuke's hands remained bound and the guard had left his side. The only other people in the room were the Hokage and her aide Shizune, a handful of elders, and a shock of pink hair to his left. No one seemed to have noticed that he had spoken.

Sasuke tried again. "Can I speak?"

One of the elders chuckled. "I certainly hope so." The others snickered, rustling paper work. Some stood, preparing to leave. It can't be over that quickly! Sasuke's blood turned ice-cold. His hands wouldn't stop trembling but he stood up.

"Yes?" drawled an elder. Despite Sasuke's inner struggle, his outer facade he attempted to keep in check. His voice was silky, not a hitch could be detected. But only he knew that his teeth were chattering.

"I wish to say something."

There was more muttering along with another round of laughter. Haven't I been laughed at enough today? A woman with solid white hair drilled her eyes into Sasuke.

"Do you dare challenge any of the aforementioned accusations?"

"No," Sasuke admitted with a miniscule twinge of shame. Tsunade, who had said nothing during the trial, straightened. Shizune was poised, pen in hand, gazing at Sasuke expectantly. She was able to record the conversations at a record speed and with remarkable accuracy. The Hokage lowered her eyes.

"If you don't have anything regarding the accusations against you, then what is it?"

Sasuke drew in a deep breath, the oxygen burning the back of his dry throat. His legs were beginning to protest from having stayed stationary for so long but there was little he could do to change that. The rope was still wrapped around his ankles and simply keeping his balance was a chore enough; there was no need to add shifting to the equation and risk another outburst of ridicule.

The elders that had started packing up their things were now sitting back at their warm seats, whispering amongst themselves. Shizune's fingers were twitching and she looked onto Sasuke, as if to push him. Tsunade was reviewing a stack of papers and cursing under her breath, while Shizune considered writing it. The woman scribbled quickly, read what she had written, then scrawled across the page, covering the obscenities with a blush on her cheeks.

Forgotten by the rest of the room, Sakura sat with her back parallel to the chair and her feet planted firmly on the ground. She hadn't asked to stand in and observe the trial – in fact, she distinctly recalls arguing against it. But Tsunade had threatened every aspect of her life were she to excuse herself from the meeting.

Everyone appeared to be waiting for Sasuke to speak but he was lost in whatever world he created for himself in those close to five years of absence. This was the most that he had allowed himself to speak since he was awake and judging by the look of pain on his face, this was most likely the most he had spoken in a long time.

Patience was waning where the elder's sat. Many were loudly calling out to the boy, prodding him. Sasuke remained standing, the hemp-like shackles preventing any movement. Finally, an elder spoke up.

"If you have nothing to say against your case, then you should -"

"I have reason to believe that the elders both planned to conspire and committed a conspiracy against the citizens of Konohagakure."

Sakura whipped her head up, focusing on Sasuke. There was silence in the courtroom. Not a single elder was expecting that. Shock played quickly on their faces but was soon replaced by apathy once more. Then the room broke out into twitters.

"A conspiracy, you say?"

"Well, anyone can accuse but what proof?"

"Yes, what reason?"

The middle elder draped himself over the podium. "Many of us have reason to believe a number of things... but do you have any proof?"

Sasuke tensed, his words coming out in ice chips.

"My proof is my dead family."

There was the sound of papers being shuffled. Sakura was trying not to look Sasuke's way. Someone coughed.

"Hmm, yes... We are aware that you are responsible for the death of S-rank criminal and former Akatsuki member, Uchiha Itachi."

"Itachi wasn't the only family I had! And the only reason he was a criminal was because of conspirators like you. You forced him to kill off the Uchiha!"

"Such wild claims. But once more, you have no physical evidence of such an occurrence."

"Itachi himself told me."

Laughter. "Do you realize how ridiculous you sound, boy? If what you say is true, then the dedicated members of this village allegedly made Uchiha Itachi kill off his relatives while leaving you alive. He then partook in various deplorable acts and then gave you a no-doubt well rehearsed lie to turn you against a village you broke ties from years prior. So either Uchiha Itachi was delusional into thinking that someone was telling him to kill off his family or you can't accept the fact that your brother was unhinged." The man leaned back in his chair while Sasuke seethed. "Now, do you understand? Give up this hopeless lie. What sort of gain would the death of such a prestigious family give the elders?"

"You were threatened by our power."

Many on the bench exchanged glances. The man speaking chuckled.

"Threatened by your power?"

"You just said yourself that the Uchiha were prestigious. They were the only reason we have any sort of law enforcement. You, the elders, were insecure about our family from day one and had them slaughtered to prevent any unbalance in power. Because that's all you were truly concerned about. You just didn't want to relinquish any control to someone else."

"If you continue to speak of the Council in such a manner then I will have you taken into custody."

Sasuke barked in laughter. Sakura furrowed her brow, glancing at the boy to the array of higher-ups. Her mentor was almost uncharacteristically quiet during these exchanges. Her elbows rested on the desk, fingers brought together to form a steeple. During the few tense moments of silence, she tapped the digits to her chin and started to speak.

"Uchiha Sasuke. Your allegations lack any sort of physical evidence. You have upset the Council numerously and your assorted acts of treason cannot go unpunished." She stopped speaking and waited for Shizune to copy down the dialogue. When she finished, Shizune glanced back at Tsunade as if to signify she could continue.

"However," she went on, "you will not be sentenced to die on this day."


End file.
